Showing posts with label I can has TALENTS?. Show all posts
Showing posts with label I can has TALENTS?. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Hakuna Matata

Oh... oh hey.   This is awkward.   It's been a while.   No excuses.  I suck.  My b.  Let's quit the chit chat and get right down to business.   

I'm in a ward.  In college.  This evening we had a Priesthood appreciation dinner and though I'm not part of the Relief Society Presidency, I got emergency roped into writing a song for the dinner.  


Let us share, shall we?  It's to the tune of The Lion King's "Hakuna Matata"



Chorus:
The Priesthood power!  - What a wonderful phrase! 
The Priesthood power!   - Aint no passin’ craze! 
---------
You hold the Lord’s power - for the rest of your days! 
It’s an honorable...... responsibility! 
The priesthood power....

Person 1: When you were a young deacon - 
Person 2: When you were a young deacooooon!!! 

Person 3: We found your aroma lacked a certain appeal
                  You could clear the chapel after every ordeal

Person 4: You’re a sensitive soul - though you seem thick-skinned
                 But now, we can call you Whenever! - on a whim!!!
Everyone: And ohh the blessings -- Presidency: oh what’s in a blessing?
Everyone: We praise the Lord’s name -- Presidency: Oh what’s in a name?
Everyone: When we need some comfort -- Presidency: What did ya feel???
.............
THE PRIESTHOOD POWER!   - What a wonderful phrase! 
The Priesthood power!  - Ain’t no passin’ craze! 
------
You hold the Lord’s power - for the rest of your days! 
It’s an honorable...... responsibility! 
The Priesthood power! 

Whisper:
The Priesthood - the power,  The Priesthood - the power,
The Priesthood - the power, The Priesthood - the power,
 The Priesthood - the power, The Priesthood - the power,
The Priesthood...

You hold the Lord’s power - for the rest of your days! 
It’s an honorable...... responsibility! 
The priesthood poweeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrr....


Yup.  It was cute, it was fun, it was written in half an hour.  

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Detective's Work

First semester I had to write a short story in the style of Flannery O'Connor.  It's cliché, but it's... alright.


Timothy Prier wanted to be a detective when he grew up. Joseph, his best friend, had a dad who was a detective. and Joseph told a bunch of stories about how his dad caught bad guys using stealth and his gun.  

Timothy loved hearing those stories.  He wished he could go visit Joseph’s house and see  his dad’s gun, but he never was able to.  Whenever he mentioned it to his mama, Josephine, she always mutter something about “different colored skin” and “intolerance” and “just plain rude.”  

Since Timothy couldn’t see Joseph’s dad’s real gun, he had a special routine that he would repeat every weekend.  After he did all of his chores for the week, each Saturday Timothy would receive just enough money to purchase a hard-candy handgun.  Timothy assumed that it was probably not as big as the real thing, but he loved getting one just the same.  Each Saturday, Timothy would go to Mr. Turner’s Drug Store and Mr. Turner would say, “Mornin’, son!”

“Mornin’, sir,” he would always reply.  Then Timothy would go straight for the candy section.  He would pick one that was blue, because that color was closest to black.  He wanted it to be as authentic as possible.  He would purchase his gun, give it a good lick, and then place it in his pocket.  His mama didn’t like that because it ruined his trousers, but a detective always needs his gun.  

He would then go back home to find out that his six year old sister, Louise, had done something terribly wrong, and he would have to figure out what she had done.  For some reason Louise would always get upset by this, probably because Timothy always caught her and always had to shoot her dead.   Louise didn’t like this, and would always tell on him.  His mama would always say that he was too young to be playing with guns, candy or real, but Timothy always thought otherwise.  He was nine and half years old, for goodness sake.  He needed a gun to keep the crime off the streets.  

One Saturday morning, while Timothy was getting his weekly handgun, something was inconsistent with his normal routine.  After his typical greetings with Mr. Turner, Timothy went to pick out his blue prop.  As he did this he heard the front door of the shop open and close and someone yell, “Bob! I knew it!  I just plain knew it!  I knew that she was cheatin’ on me! That dang slut, Patricia!”  Timothy wheeled around to see Mr. Cuckeld, the town bar owner wearing a  wife beater and olive corduroy pants, both in need of washing.  

“Calm down Carter, are you sure?  How did you find out?”  Mr. Turner said.  

“I just know!  I heard them talking outside of my bar about meeting up with each other tomorrow at eight.  Her and that idiot, Don Perkins!”

“Well, what are you gonna do?”

“I’m gonna kill her!”

“What?!”

“I”m gonna kill the both of ‘em!  After all I’ve given her!  A good house, a modest living.  And how dare he take what’s mine!  I’m gonna kill ‘em, tomorrow at eight, they said their going to meet at the motel next door to my bar, and  you’re gonna help me.”  

“What makes you think I’m gonna help you, Carter?”  

“Come on, Bob!  You know what it’s like-”

“Alright! Alright. I’ll go with you.”  

“Great.  Meet me at seven so we can get everything read and set up.  These two are gonna get everything they got coming to them.”  Timothy couldn’t believe it!  He was about to catch two criminals in the act!  He was going to buy his gun from Mr. Turner and pretend like he didn’t just hear everything that they had said.  Then he would meet up with them tomorrow at seven and spy on them and see them commit their crime.  Then he would go to Joseph’s dad and get them in trouble.  Finally, Timothy would be a real detective.  

 * * *
Robert Turner always liked to think of himself of a decent man that always had horrible things happen to him.  When he was 13 his mother died and his father had a serious drinking problem after that.  When he was old enough, Bob opened his own drug store and tried to help as many people as he could with his products.  Sadly, his business wasn’t doing very well.  He only had a couple of regular customers, one of whom being a young black child that only bought a candy handgun once a week.  Then, a few years ago, his wife left him for a better work of a man.  It broke his heart and it re-broke it whenever he thought of it.  That’s why, when Carter Cuckeld came to him asking for help with his wife, Bob was a little more sympathetic, and a little more willing to help, than most.  Now it was almost seven and he was a little worried about Carter was going to do, but he had said he was going to be there, and he was a man of his word.  Now as he arrived at Carter’s bar, Carter yelled, “Bob, I was worried you weren’t gonna come!”  

“I said I was gonna show, didn’t I?” replied Bob.  

“Yeah, but since what we’re gonna do... anyway.  I’ve got the supplies and the plan.  Are you ready for this?”

“I guess.”

“Alright well I found out that she’s gonna be in the motel and then he has to meet up with her a bit later.  We’re gonna go up and snuff her out and then we’ll wait for him and take care of him too.  Quick and easy, get rid of this scum so I don’t have to see ‘em every day.  We’ll strangle them, so it’s quiet, but I brought my gun in case anything gets out of hand.”

“I don’t know-”

“No, no, it’ll all be good.  I’ll do everything, and you’ll hold the gun, and whatever you do will be self defense.  You have nothing to worry about.”  

“Alright, Carter.  I’m letting you take the reins with this.  I’ll just be by your side.”

“That’s all I wanted, Bob.”  They then waited until they saw Patricia Cuckeld heading towards the motel and then after she entered they followed her to her room.  Carter wasn’t very stealthy once they were near her room.  “I know what you’re doing here, Patty!” he yelled.  

“Yeah right, Carter!  You have no idea why I’m here, no proof or anything!”  Bob could only look at Patricia with contempt.  Before, whenever he thought of his wife, he could only think of how much he loved and missed her.  Now, looking at Patty, all he could think of was getting back at her, giving her what she deserved seeing Patty get what she deserved.  

“I got proof enough, and I’m gonna stop you in your tracks, Patty!”

“You can’t stop me from doin’ anything! You never could, and you never will.”  And with that Carter whipped out his belt took four large steps across the small, motel room and began to end his wife’s life.    His eyes went dark and was gritting his teeth.  She was clawing at his arms, but she was quickly losing the struggle.  Then she finally stopped moving.  

* * *
Don Perkins was so excited to see Patricia again.  This relationship they had was the as real as it could get.  Every time he saw her, he couldn’t get her out of his head days after, and now he was just about to see her again.  He made his way up the stairs to the room that he knew Patricia was going to be in.  He opened the door and he saw Patricia laying with her head in her husband’s lap.  His stomach dropped.  What was going on?  Patricia hated her husband.  Carter then got up and Patricia’s body eerily fell to the floor.  Something was terribly wrong.  Her body didn’t move at all.  Carter made his way towards Don, and Don couldn’t move.  Carter had a belt in his hands.  

* * *
Timothy was terrified.  He had followed Mr. Turner into the bar, and then he had followed him and Mr. Cuckeld into the motel.  Since they were both so distracted by what they had to do, they that he had followed them, at that point he thought he was doing a pretty good job at being a detective.  Then the door closed and all he heard was yelling and then stomping around.  He was a little scared about what might have just happened, but he just held his gun in his pocket and kept quite, a detective always kept at his post.  

Then Timothy heard footsteps coming up the stairs.  He moved into the shadows as the man opened the door into the room where Mr. Turner and Mr. and Mrs. Cuckeld were.  The door was left open, so now Timothy had a clear view of what was going on.  He saw Mrs. Cuckeld’s body on the ground and Mr. Cuckeld headed for the man that had entered the room.  Mr. Cuckeld had an extreme look in his eye as he wrapped his belt around the man’s neck, and Timothy involuntarily gasped and Mr. Cuckeld and Mr. Turner both turned their heads to him.  Mr. Cuckeld yelled, “Get the boy!”  and Mr. Turner ran to get him, and Timothy made no move to escape, paralyzed by fear.  Mr. Turner grabbed him by the arm and dragged him to a chair in a corner of the room.  

“What are you doing here, boy?  You have no business being here!”  Mr. Turner exclaimed.  Timothy didn’t know how to respond.  He simply remembered a time where his mother said that if he ever got into trouble with some white folks that he should tell them about his life.  Tell them about how nice his family was and what he liked to do in his spare time, but always respectfully, calling them “sir” or “ma’am.”  

“Well, sir, I’m Timothy Prier and I have a little sister named Louise and she’s just six.  And I have a mama, her name is Josephine, and she loves me and my sister.  My father works in the tire factory on the outskirts of town.  He’s a good worker, always gets enough money for my mama to make good meals for us.  Mama says that’s a mighty fine blessing for us to have and that we should be grateful for it every day.  

I want to be a detective.  It’s because my best friend’s dad’s a detective.  I hear the neatest stories about it, I want to be able to keep the streets safe, sir.” 

“What’s that kid blabbin’ about, Bob?” Carter shouted, with the man’s body at crumpled at his feet.
“His life story, he wants to be a detective or somethin’.”  

Carter mutters, “This kid’s seen too much, Bob. We gotta get rid of him.”  

“He’s just a kid, Carter, who’s gonna believe him?” 

“He’s just a negro, Bob, just snuff him so we can get on with our night.”

“I can’t do that, Carter.  If you want it done you’ll have to do it.”  Timothy could barely hear them talking but he knew something bad was going to happen.  He was holding onto his gun for dear life, just sitting in that chair.  Then he saw Mr. Turner’s already sad face turn to anguish.  Then there was an exchange of hands.  Timothy felt something awful, something terrible was coming.  He clutched his gun even harder.  Mr. Cuckeld turned to face Timothy with a gun pointed towards his face.  Triggers were pulled and within Timothy’s pocket were the remnants of a hard-candy handgun. 

Saturday, April 9, 2011

I'm not dead yet.

I have twenty more days of my freshman year at college.  This semester has been nice. Not too many papers (except for the three that I'm putting off right now by writing this), just one obnoxiously insane presentation.

But the biggest theme that has occurred this semester is MUSIC!  Let's start at the beginning and waste time, shall we?

It started of with me taking chemistry.  I was relatively "excited."  I liked chemistry in high school and I had done pretty well and I was hoping this class would simply reaffirm my feelings on the subject.

FALSE.

The teacher and I did not get along.  I don't think he knew it, but I knew it enough for the both of us.  So I dropped it like a hot tamale.  But with that class dropped I had some space to fill.  My roommate was signed up to take a class called Group Voice Instruction and I had heard that it was supposed to be really good.  The problem was that there was a possibility of me not getting into the class.  After a stressful couple of days, I finally got in and things started to settle.

This class has basically changed my life.  Ehh... yeah.  It has.

It is taught by Clayne Robison, with the help of a couple of characters.

BYUtv - Beautiful Singing: Not Just For The Chosen

This is a short film that we have watched many times and it is basically what we are learning in class.  Dr. Robison is sometimes a startling person, but you just go along with it because you know(hope) he knows what he's doing.

With what I've been learning I am able to use it in my other class: Bella Voce!  The same couple of characters who help Dr. Robison with Group Voice are the conductors for Bella Voce.  This class has also had a greater impact on me than I could have ever expected.

Here is what we have done this semester:

For our first concert we did:

Dirait-on - Morten Lauridsen
We are a womens' choir, so it is slightly different from this.
Tango To Evora - Loreena McKennitt
Set Me As a Seal  - René Clausen
My Soul's Been Anchored in the Lord - Moses Hogan


Sing Me to Heaven - Daniel E. Gawthrop
Psalm 23 - Z. Randall Stroope
Revelation - Z. Randall Stroope
This one is really intense.  Especially this video with the illustrations.

Now we have another concert coming up on April 21st where we will be singing Sing Me to Heaven, Psalm 23, and Revelation along with:

Ev'ry Time I Feel the Spirit - Rosephanye Powell
This version is very different from what we sing, mostly just the same words, but you get the idea.
Hoj, Hura, hoj! - Otmar Mácha
I'll be singing one of the solos in this one.  I'm excited.

Because of these two classes over the course of two semesters my love of music has grown exponentially.  So much, in fact, that I was considering doing a double minor of Early Childhood Education along with Music.  But, for whatever reason, the Early Childhood Education minor is no longer available.  At least at this point in time.  So we'll see how things pan out.

I'm grateful for the all the opportunities I have at this school and the people I have met that help me improve in my skillz.

Twenty more days.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Epic beyond all reason.




This song:  "Gone Away" by Lucy Schwartz.  I was amazed by it the moment I heard it.
I LIKE this song.  And when I like a song, I really like a song, and when I really like a song, I really get into it.   I tried to find the sheet music to the song - no good.  The song's not popular enough.   So I sounded it out and wrote the accompaniment.  I'm so proud of myself!  It too some amount of hours.  Maybe it can count for some personal progress (hint)?  The divine nature of music... heh.

Well I'm going to be bringing in the music on Sunday and maybe making some unsuspecting person try and play it so I don't have to hear it on the twangy, synthetic keyboard.