Today, I got a college email about housing. It showed me where to find out who my roommates are (who a already knew about) and what to do when I get there.
"New students are scheduled to arrive on Wednesday, August 25th between 9am and 5pm. Orientation activities will begin the next morning. Your student ID card and orientation materials can be picked up at Main Hall after you have checked into your housing assignment."
Before, I was pretty okay with the idea of going to college. But after getting this email, I am scared. I am scared about being eight hours away from home. I scared about living with three new, different girls and having no privacy. I'm scared to be taking college-level classes. I'm scared to have more papers. I'm scared to have to take care of myself. I'm scared that after this, after the next four years, I'll be a full on grown up. That I'll have to have a job, that I'll have to support myself. I'm scared that I can't do it.
It's all hit me. And I don't want to go.
2 comments:
Well Bean, it is scary. I remember when Grandma Derby drove me across the country to BYU-I. I would have given my eye-teeth to be 8 hours away with an Uncle Matt merely a stone's throw away. I remember when she dropped me off at my dorm...got me set up and I remember her leaving and me standing in the front room of this nasty little dorm, all alone, crying and crying and crying. So frightened...so worried about having to wear my big girl pants. This was well before cell phones and long distance was very expensive...no texting, no free nights and weekends. I didn't know a soul in Idaho. And, I was to have 5 other roommates...and, because there were no computers or easy ways to convey who was who and what was what...well, meeting my roomies was like the Mystery Meat in the school cafeteria. (I have stories that you have NEVER heard...I will tell you of the earring and the Mentholatum sometime.)
And guess who was my roommate? SHAN! Well, I had more fun and met my most bosom friend who, 25 years later is still my bosom friend...my sister even...and I failed horribly at my classes (this changed rapidly after I got a .9 my first semester and I was in jeopardy of being kicked out...I WANTED to be in college...I was having such fun...so, I straightened up.)
You are embarking on a big adventure...and it is scary...but, all will be well. You have never NOT been taken care of. You will surprise yourself...this I know. And don't kid yourself about having to be a grown-up...ever. I still feel like I'm 17 years old most of the time.
I still laugh at inane things (as you know well.) I still thrill in the simple and I still miss my Mama and Dad and brothers and sisters and often find myself longing for when things were easy and breezy.
But, being an adult has it's perks and being on your own will soon be thrilling and you will find that you are much, much stronger than you ever imagined. And, you will dance and laugh and clap your hands and say, "I did it!"
I'm sure you know this story, but just imagine me in Hawaii. I had no one to set me up. I had to figure it out on my own and I'm not the smartest stick in the barrel ;) Mom sent me off to California with Jenny and Matt and Maria was there to meet us. We hung out for my last hoorah for about a week and then they sent me off to Hawaii.
As soon as I got there, I was hyperventilating. I had these two strange guys pick me up and take me to BYU-H, then they made fun of my accent because I couldn't pronounce the words the "Hawaiian" way. As soon as I got to my dorm, my roommate was already there--an evil Tongan who hated me before she even knew my name! As soon as I got there (mind you, I was in what many people consider paradise), I called Grandma and told her I needed to come right home because I couldn't breathe! (I am chuckling to myself right now because really, I couldn't think of a better excuse!?!?!) She told me to wait it out for a week and if I still couldn't breathe, she would fly me home.
After many sweaty days and getting to know people and finding out I had free reign on the bookstore and buying many office supplies, I decided I could stay and that breathing wasn't so difficult in paradise.
I actually flourished and received the best grades in my entire life during those two semesters in Hawaii. I still miss my days there and would kill to go back.
I guess my advice to you is live in the moment. Savor your experiences--be they good or bad, because in a few years, they will be your funny stories to tell YOUR nieces and nephews and they will beg to hear them from you over and over and over again!
I love you and even though I tease you incessantly, I know that you can do this and will be INCREDIBLE at it!
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